Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Eyes see
Last night when I was tucking Jacques (6) into bed, after songs and usual pre-sleep routine, he said to me in a very slow thoughtful voice "Mum, did you know you can never see your own eyes......(long pause)...except in a mirror".
Candle Poo
Oliver (31/2) is still very excited about his relatively newish skill of pooing in the toilet and insists on announcing every impending poo. Then, when the deed is complete, he enthusiastically calls upon all present to gather at the toilet for a public viewing of said deed. This has been going on for a few weeks now and is always met with grandiose applause and congratulatory high fives galore. Today, Oliver was super impressed with his "candle poo" which, as you can imagine he named for its vertical stature.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
His Hands are up!
Lucas has been so unwell (not all the time, but a lot of the time) since his 2 month vaccination against rotavirus. I HATE the term colic. It doesn't explain dramatically enough the symptoms he has been experiencing. It is an umbrella term used by GPs to describe "tummy discomfort". Poor Lucas for almost 3 months now has been waking in his sleep pulling his knees up crunching his body over into a banana shape wincing and crying in pain, doing toxic smelling explosive sounding thunderous man farts and diarrhea that smells so bad it's unbelievable it can come from such a beautiful little creature. Some nights he will only sleep with a hot pack snuggled into him while he's being cuddled in an upright position. I then lay him down to sleep and before long it comes on again!
Then, about 3 weeks ago he seemed a lot worse and didn't want to be sat in his favourite bouncy chair or even in his pram. I had to hold him and wear him in the sling and even then he grizzled. Then he got a fever (around 40 degrees) on the Friday afternoon. I took him to the local GP (Friday pm of a long weekend is the worst time to find a caring doctor) who checked his ears and throat and said his throat was a bit red but wouldn't be causing such severe symptoms. He said there was no point taking him to Princess Margaret Hospital and to "watch him over the weekend" whatever the hell that's supposed to mean! I voiced my concern at his ongoing toxic smelling farts/poo and that I felt that the vaccination was related to it. He offered to do a urine test since the urine smelled bad too. I asked for fast results, but he said we would have to wait for the Tuesday for the results. Well, Tuesdays results showed e.coli infection with white blood cells meaning he was fighting an infection - probably urinary tract. Another doctor on the Tuesday told me with such a high fever and UTI, he should have been treated with IV antibiotics in hospital and that he may well now have kidney damage!!! Another subsequent test showed e.coli present still so we put him on oral antibiotics and last Friday he had an ultrasound of the kidneys. She wouldn't tell me much but admitted that the left one was dilated. At my 20 week ultrasound a slightly dilated kidney was detected but at 34 weeks I was told it was resolved and didn't require further follow up. Against my instincts, I didn't check it again as I was told it was not necessary and I didn't want to cause extra hassle/expense with 3 kids to look after. If you know me, you'll know I am torturing myself with guilt for not following my instinct and getting those kidneys checked. Now we have to wait for Friday's paediatrician visit to see what next.
The only small relief (well kinda big) is that Lucas had his best night sleep last night in weeks. I put him in his proper cot in his own room a few nights ago and he doesn't seem to mind it at all. I think he loves his room (which I love so much,). It used to be my home office and I have (with mum & dad's help while I was preggers) transformed it into a beautiful baby boys room with soft aqua blue colours and designers guild jungle japes theme. Last night I fed him a bottle at around 11pm and he slept until 3am. He then had a breast-feed then slept till 6am. This is amazing. I just put him down for an afternoon nap and for the first time in months, he is sleeping like an angel with his fists up high around his head. The is a sign of real relaxation. He doesn't have a stern pained look on his face. Even though he is still refluxing and doing huge vomits from time to time (usually over the nearest remote control), I am just so happy that he is sleeping peacefully for more than 1.5 hours in a stretch and finally looking relaxed.
Aaaaaahhhhh, the small things that bring me happiness.
I'm praying that the kidney thing is nothing serious and that he's on his way to better quality of life.....for us all.
Then, about 3 weeks ago he seemed a lot worse and didn't want to be sat in his favourite bouncy chair or even in his pram. I had to hold him and wear him in the sling and even then he grizzled. Then he got a fever (around 40 degrees) on the Friday afternoon. I took him to the local GP (Friday pm of a long weekend is the worst time to find a caring doctor) who checked his ears and throat and said his throat was a bit red but wouldn't be causing such severe symptoms. He said there was no point taking him to Princess Margaret Hospital and to "watch him over the weekend" whatever the hell that's supposed to mean! I voiced my concern at his ongoing toxic smelling farts/poo and that I felt that the vaccination was related to it. He offered to do a urine test since the urine smelled bad too. I asked for fast results, but he said we would have to wait for the Tuesday for the results. Well, Tuesdays results showed e.coli infection with white blood cells meaning he was fighting an infection - probably urinary tract. Another doctor on the Tuesday told me with such a high fever and UTI, he should have been treated with IV antibiotics in hospital and that he may well now have kidney damage!!! Another subsequent test showed e.coli present still so we put him on oral antibiotics and last Friday he had an ultrasound of the kidneys. She wouldn't tell me much but admitted that the left one was dilated. At my 20 week ultrasound a slightly dilated kidney was detected but at 34 weeks I was told it was resolved and didn't require further follow up. Against my instincts, I didn't check it again as I was told it was not necessary and I didn't want to cause extra hassle/expense with 3 kids to look after. If you know me, you'll know I am torturing myself with guilt for not following my instinct and getting those kidneys checked. Now we have to wait for Friday's paediatrician visit to see what next.
The only small relief (well kinda big) is that Lucas had his best night sleep last night in weeks. I put him in his proper cot in his own room a few nights ago and he doesn't seem to mind it at all. I think he loves his room (which I love so much,). It used to be my home office and I have (with mum & dad's help while I was preggers) transformed it into a beautiful baby boys room with soft aqua blue colours and designers guild jungle japes theme. Last night I fed him a bottle at around 11pm and he slept until 3am. He then had a breast-feed then slept till 6am. This is amazing. I just put him down for an afternoon nap and for the first time in months, he is sleeping like an angel with his fists up high around his head. The is a sign of real relaxation. He doesn't have a stern pained look on his face. Even though he is still refluxing and doing huge vomits from time to time (usually over the nearest remote control), I am just so happy that he is sleeping peacefully for more than 1.5 hours in a stretch and finally looking relaxed.
Aaaaaahhhhh, the small things that bring me happiness.
I'm praying that the kidney thing is nothing serious and that he's on his way to better quality of life.....for us all.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Batshit v Australian Idol
I'm so bored, and there is absolutely Nada on TV at the moment. Batshit is a rave compared to the pathetic cat moanings on Australian idol tonight.
Batshit wins.
Batshit wins.
A 6 Year Old's Breast Cancer Awareness
As October is breast cancer awareness month, we are inundated with every product you can imagine being repackaged in pink with pink ribbons. This is marketing genius and I'm sure has lifted the profile of the cause a trillion fold and certainly hasn't gone unnoticed by my gorgeous 6 year old Jacques. Whilst shopping at Coles yesterday with my three boys, Jacques, with his ever increasing high EQ, pointed to the coffee jar packed in a pink Moccona label and the pink Tim Tam packets and with great gusto advised me "Mum, you should get those...you don't want to get breast cancer do you mum!" Pinot & Tim Tams with a flat white chaser! If only that was the break through prevention we've all been waiting for!
Monday, October 15, 2007
First blog!
MMM, I have finally got my A into G and started a personal blog. I've been meaning to for so long now. I hope I can use this to note little things that I would love to remember down the track as I can certainly not rely on my memory thanks to deteriorating thyroid and serious sleep deprivation issues!
I hope I can make a little entry daily or at least weekly.
Was feeling a little flat last few days - so hard to cope with every day mundane stuff when I'm soooo dog tired and kids have been unwell. Feel like all I do is catering, wiping shit, constant loads of washing, picking up regurgitated food from the floor, removing finger prints from walls,doors, important documents, yelling at boys to stop fighting, removing life threatening red back spider from kids outside toys, picking up toys and clothes from every possible crevice in our house and trying to facilitate a family of 5 to fit into a home designed for a childless couple of retirees!
I must stop casting my mind back to my selective memory of:
Juxtaposed to my life at the moment
Thankfully, just when I was started to feel pangs of missing my old life, I was snapped out of it when another mum, knowing exactly where I was coming from, asked me how happy did I feel then compared to now?? Bloody cow, presuming she knows me so well. Thank goodness she did, as of course she is right. When my mind starts to play tricks on me and drifts back to a time where I was my own person (editing out the ghastly reality of what a miserable time I actually had) I just remind myself how lucky I am. I have the family I always dreamed of - a fabulous husband who is the best Daddy any child could wish for and I have 3 gorgeous healthy babies who love me so much its overwhelming. Hearing them giggle and watching their innocent faces with beaming smiles gives me a feeling that blows any high I've ever experienced before them out of the water.
Sounds so cheesy, but I've got to stop taking for granted how lucky I am!
I better sign off for today to wake up Lucas to feed him a bottle so he will sleep (odd I know). I so dread being woken up when I'm sleeping that I really don't want to go to sleep. It's like some sort of ancient sleep deprivation torture. I can get just under 4 hours sleep in a stretch after Lucas has his bottle (providing neither of the other boys have nightmare/fever/vomit/toilet requirement) but then he's always up at 3am for breastfeed, then 4:30ish for a cry with tummy ache and toxic smelling fart, then 5:15ish for same, then 6:15ish for a feed at which point Jacques and/or Oli will be up (if by some small miracle I may have fallen asleep again, they'll wake me up to ask if I'm awake!). Ah, now I just gotta think about those sweet smiling faces and giggles again and it'll all be fine.
I hope I can make a little entry daily or at least weekly.
Was feeling a little flat last few days - so hard to cope with every day mundane stuff when I'm soooo dog tired and kids have been unwell. Feel like all I do is catering, wiping shit, constant loads of washing, picking up regurgitated food from the floor, removing finger prints from walls,doors, important documents, yelling at boys to stop fighting, removing life threatening red back spider from kids outside toys, picking up toys and clothes from every possible crevice in our house and trying to facilitate a family of 5 to fit into a home designed for a childless couple of retirees!
I must stop casting my mind back to my selective memory of:
- having a reasonable figure (looked hot when smoking pack a day)
- wearing nice clean ironed quality clothes
- wearing heels
- getting my hair done regularly
- neatly waxed
- cruising around in my bmw convertible to all sorts of exciting engagements, listening to music that I like (not fucking hi 5 or hooley fucking dooleys)
- making important executive decisions
- Christmas party invitations galore
Juxtaposed to my life at the moment
- At least 15kg to lose
- no nice clothes that fit (don't want to buy any as I'm sure 15kg will miraculously disappear over night from sheer willpower without having to amend eating habits / exercise pattern
- Daily uniform of foosty tracky pants &worn out birkenstocks
- hormonal skin
- hair falling out in clumps from breastfeeding (crusty bits of vomit probably the only thing keeping the hair in place - preventing total baldness)
- clothes smelling like sour milk, none without some mysterious stain
- agonising over doctors advice to circumcise my baby!
- Kindy association meetings galore
- distractions from mundane life include but are not limited to: ebay, fertility friend buddygroup, facebook and now friggin addiction to online texas hold em poker (all things I can do with a fussy baby on my lap.)
Thankfully, just when I was started to feel pangs of missing my old life, I was snapped out of it when another mum, knowing exactly where I was coming from, asked me how happy did I feel then compared to now?? Bloody cow, presuming she knows me so well. Thank goodness she did, as of course she is right. When my mind starts to play tricks on me and drifts back to a time where I was my own person (editing out the ghastly reality of what a miserable time I actually had) I just remind myself how lucky I am. I have the family I always dreamed of - a fabulous husband who is the best Daddy any child could wish for and I have 3 gorgeous healthy babies who love me so much its overwhelming. Hearing them giggle and watching their innocent faces with beaming smiles gives me a feeling that blows any high I've ever experienced before them out of the water.
Sounds so cheesy, but I've got to stop taking for granted how lucky I am!
I better sign off for today to wake up Lucas to feed him a bottle so he will sleep (odd I know). I so dread being woken up when I'm sleeping that I really don't want to go to sleep. It's like some sort of ancient sleep deprivation torture. I can get just under 4 hours sleep in a stretch after Lucas has his bottle (providing neither of the other boys have nightmare/fever/vomit/toilet requirement) but then he's always up at 3am for breastfeed, then 4:30ish for a cry with tummy ache and toxic smelling fart, then 5:15ish for same, then 6:15ish for a feed at which point Jacques and/or Oli will be up (if by some small miracle I may have fallen asleep again, they'll wake me up to ask if I'm awake!). Ah, now I just gotta think about those sweet smiling faces and giggles again and it'll all be fine.
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